Beer’d Artemis (Cascadian Dark)
1 growlette, $?, 6.4% ABV

Purchased at the brewery by my friend Doug, Stonington

artI write this page in celebration. As those of you who follow my Connecticut beer nonsense well know, I hold Beer’d in very high regard. Not only have I consistently and confidently raved about their beer – but when one considers how cool and humble owners Aaren and Precious are, there is simply nothing to complain about the brewery.

Well, except for one thing: It’s in Stonington. And I don’t live near Stonington. And since Stonington is in the southeast corner of the state, it’s sort of at a dead-end for me. Meaning that for me to go there with any consistency requires a relatively long drive out and back. While I encourage every one of you to make this trip as often as possible, I can’t do it with regularity.

Enter Doug – and my celebration. As it turns out, I have a friend who has a mother who lives in Rhode Island. This friend, named Doug, is a good son and visits his mother in Rhode Island fairly regularly in the summer. Doug loves good beer. Which means that Doug now loves Beer’d.

And now I love Doug. Celebration!

But I’m writing this as the first of what will be 5 Beer’d reviews in a row. I almost never do that, because frankly it gets boring for all parties. However, I am also celebrating Beer’d's first bottle releases – and these aren’t your run-of-the-mill releases either. These bad boys are exciting!

Beer’d Says:

Low levels of roast character, but lots of pine notes. Dark in color yet light in body.

Artemis is yet another quality brew from Beer’d. While it is somewhat hard to nail down as far as style goes – not really a black IPA, somewhat of a brown… let’s call it an American Black Ale, it’s still a very well-crafted beer. It’s a little thin, but I sort of like that, especially now in the summer. The classic Beer’d hop profile is present, but it’s straight up old-school hops, like before all these frou-frou citrus varietals were created.

Just hop and pine and malt. Yeah, an American black ale.

tumblr_krw0r2xvpM1qzpxm3o1_500If you’re at least moderately familiar with my beer “reviews,” you’re probably wondering a) what’s an “Artemis” and, b) what’s up with that first picture. I’m not going to get all Greek mythology on you, but I will mention that Artemis was the goddess of a bunch of random stuff like hunting and archery. And god dudes all tried to get with her to no avail.

That character trait is in direct opposition of a more modern day Artemis; she of the once hilarious FX show, “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.”

“Sunny’s” Artemis is what we’d call an unfulfilled whore. She’s gross. She’s unfiltered. And she’s hilarious.

Also hilarious? My son Damian’s expression in that photo. I didn’t ask him to do the “Philly Fan Face,” but since it’s in his genome, it just came out. I’m quite proud of that.

Yes, for those of you who don’t know it, I am an unapologetic, unrepentant, life-long Philly sports fan. I grew up there. I really only “care” about the Eagles and the Flyers though – you know, the two teams (of the four major ones) who hasn’t won a championship in my post-toddling years. Sigh.

And so, when “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” came along, with its dark humor, sarcasm and pessimism – it fit in perfectly with my fandom. The first few years were hilarious. Then it was not. Now I no longer watch.

And when I hear “Artemis,” I think of Dee’s dirty friend Artemis from “Sunny.” So there you have it.

Note: When my wife saw the set up for that picture, she asked what I was doing. I stupidly told her the truth. Her response, without a turn of her head or a wobble in her inflection: “That’s a bit of a stretch.”

Damnit. She’s always right. But I still like that picture.

Overall Rating: A-
Rating vs. Similar style: A

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