CHB Cream Ale

CHB Cream Ale
1 pint glass, $3.75, 5% ABV

Purchased at Cambridge House Brew Pub, Granby

creami have never done this before. I have never written anything (in my memory) on this site with a healthy buzz. (Squares: that means I’ve had a few alcoholic beverages.) I’e always though tit would be sort of funny to do it once, so you’d get to chuckle at things like how I just typed “though tit” instead of “thought it.”

Classic. And classy!

This is a good beer to play out this experiment with, because quite frankly, this is a boring beer. Since the former Hooker brewmaster came over to Cambridge House in early/mid 2013, he’s been doing a bang-up job. I talk up CHB to whomever will listen to me, which unfortunately for them, means no one.

But seriously, their beer is really, really good.

But the Cream ale is pretty lame. See? I can’t write for crap right now. How in the world did Hemingway and F. Scott and the endless list of drunkard writers who were just amazing writers do it? I don’t feel smarter right now, I feel stupid.

I feel like I’m doing a pretty good job of typing though, so that’s good. (Autocorrect is for wussies, by the way.)

CHB Says:

Light and smooth. Brewed with oatmeal for extra creaminess.

Whatever. It’s just a plain old ale with oatmeal thrown in. the oatmeal doesn’t have the same effect it has in oatmeal stouts though. The beer is fine and drinkable and all that, but one must ask “why?” After a long run of fantastic (and classic) beers, this one was sort of a dud for me.

BUT – let’s make it all better with one of the best hip hop songs of all time, with a hook that everyone knows and what was, perhaps, the world’s introductions to the Wu Tang Clan. i”ll put Method Man right up there with the best hip hop artists of all time, and the RZA is one of th emost creative and influential producers of all time.

If you aren’t familiar, that’s C.R.E.A.M (Cash Rules Everything Around Me) which is not the typical rap anthem about “gimme money gimme money” – this is the Wu, here, c’mon.

While Rap Genius is true genius across the board, I really love it for Wu Tang lyrics. Ok, so youhate hip hop. So what, go ahead and check this out.

So much greatness in this song – and so much for us 41-year-old suburban dads to learn. Turns out that the line “Rolling in MPV’s every week we made forty G’s” means more than you’d ever think. (Braekdown is from Rap Genius, not me, for I am not a genius.)

Notice the double entendre on “rolling”: Rollin as in chilling and cruising in their whip. Rollin as in rolling a joint/blunt.

An MPV is not exactly the most impressive car; the fact that he is reminiscing about getting to drive one is meant to underscore his humble beginnings. Though, as the second half of the line reveals, he was making $40,000 a week and could probably afford a better car, so it is possible that he drove the MPV for practical reasons. Mazda MPV’s were a popular hood car in the 80’s and early 90s, and was often used by drug dealers for practical reasons; the MPV has sliding doors on both sides, making it easy to get in and out of the car quickly. It also allowed for quite a bit of room for moving drugs and guns. Fun Fact: If you watch the video, you can see them jump out of an MPV.

It goes on. You should learn more about Wu Tang lyrics. They guide my life.

This beer was ok.

Overall Rating: C+
Rating vs. Similar style: C

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