2. Connecticut River Museum

Something’s Fishy in Essex
(Google Maps Location)
October 20 & December 10, 2006

mq3a1.jpgIt sure didn’t take long for me to rope Hoang into joining me on Museum Quest! We hadn’t really planned on going to the River Museum, but after leaving for Hoang’s appointment at the Norwich Inn and Spa a little late in a classic Nor’Easter, and then taking a minute or two too long to eat our crab salad lunches there, and then having to get gas on the way to Essex – we missed the 2 PM Essex Steam Train trip by (literally) 1 minute. My tickets to that attraction would have to wait for another day. No matter, it was a terrible day weather-wise anyway and hey! I just happened to know of a nearby museum! Awesome.

After the steam train puttered out of view (we eventually made the train trip, with Damian in tow – read about it here), we slowly drove through the center of bucolic Essex down to the Connecticut River. I had never been to Essex before – or even much heard of it, but I assure you that on an autumn day here, it is stunning. It looks like a puzzle picture scene at every turn. In fact, it was named America’s Best Small Town 5 years ago. Even in the rain with most of my attention on the roads covered with wet leaves, I was impressed.


We arrived at the attractive looking museum in short order and hustled inside; out of the windy rain. We were greeted by the lady at the desk who apologized for 1/3 of the museum being closed; the top floor is being renovated for the Christmas model train display.) Before I could complain, she whipped out two complimentary passes for a return visit good anytime during the next year. I am a lucky, lucky man.

mq3c.jpgHoang and I mosied on over to what turned out to be the children’s portion of the place but since Museum Quest is thorough, we took it all in. Some of it was a mish-mash that made no sense to adults but maybe little kids don’t care and would have enjoyed just fine. We did – here I am fishing and to the left I am showing off my bountiful catch. I don’t know what I learned from that, but it was fun to play fisherman for a moment.

Actually, there were some cool little, “Keep the river clean” stories and even a matter-of-fact evolution sign that some yahoo eloquently disagreed with via his well-reasoned graffito rebuttal: “Not!” Thanks for that. Undeterred, Hoang went about the delicate process of unearthing a Devonian fish fossil… Seriously, she took forever and got upset when I suggested her “dig” wasn’t authentic. Time to move on to the adult portions of the museum.


The first floor houses a nice display of the historical aspects of the shipbuilding industry of the surrounding area. We learned about the birth of shipbuilding, the Navy, and our country. Beginning before the Revolutionary war, Connecticut was tasked with building a few warship schooners and Essex was a hub. Some guy named Uriah Hayden built the first ship here and named it the Oliver Cromwell. All I remember about Oliver Cromwell was that he led a group named the Roundheads back in England. Though I’ve completely forgotten who/what the Roundheads were all about, props to my 8th grade history teacher for jamming that fact into my brain. (Funny thing is, I forget the teacher’s name.)


The early Revolutionary history of Connecticut, it turns out, is rather murky. A bunch of guys played both sides and others were “Profiteers.” The funny thing is, some of these jerks have things named after them all over the state. Silas Deane? Punk. Then again, they did just come over from England so I guess it’s okay to remain loyal to your motherland. I’m sure we’ll learn much more about this stuff during MuseumQuest! but my introduction to it was pretty cool.

mq3g.jpgEach state had it’s own Navy and was asked to build a ship for the war effort. There were a bunch of things going on behind the scenes with turncoats and families getting rich or going broke due to trade issues. Connecticut’s ship, the Trumbull was built up-river in Middletown, sailed down to Essex (near the Long Island Sound) and got stuck on a giant sandbar. Hoo boy, this was quite a scandal back in the day – and was only corrected by an ingenious flotilla of bouyant barrels several months later. The Trumbull turned out to kick butt and ended up capturing a bunch of British warships before it became the last of the original 13 captured by the Brits. Believe me, it’s all very exciting stuff when you’re at the Museum itself.

We watched a very poorly acted video with the verbal anachronism, “gonna” and a convoluted story of war that only confused me more. Hey, at least the good guys won, right? Ships were built along the Connecticut River and some people made money off of that and lots of people died and the colonies won their freedom a year or two later. And the British have bad teeth and have the ability to sound intelligent by virtue of their accent – even if they’re dumb. Time for the second floor.

The second floor picked up the history after the Revolutionary war and contained a lot of nice paintings – of ships, of ports, and of important men of the early 19th century.

Channeling Capt. Joseph H. Tucker, shipbuilder. But you knew that.

Unfortunately, I don’t know who the sad looking man is in the portrait. But does it matter?

Here’s something you didn’t know… Essex is one of the few cities in America ever attacked by a foreign power. During the War of 1812, the Brits attacked the town and the ships being built there resulting in complete destruction. Today, Essex “celebrates” this attack every year with a parade. I can’t wait for my town to begin the “Yay! Town Taxes!” parade every fiscal year.

There was a display of elephant tusks too. Why? Because back in the 1800′s up until the mid 1900′s, the emergent steamboat technology allowed merchants to hack off elephant teeth in Zanzibar and ship them economically to the Connecticut River where the town of Ivoryton was the US leader in Ivory sculptures and industry that’s why.


As steamers became omnipresent, the Connecticut River became a major point between Boston and New York and towns like Hartford really took off. It was cool to see some of the paintings depicting our capital city back in the day. Of course, the river itself was a cesspool and the standard of living was atrocious, but the paintings sure do look purty.

We saved the best for last – as I’ve done here as well. The crown jewel of the museum is the Turtle, an ingenious little submarine from the Revolutionary War. Now, if you’re like me, you just said, “What?! A submarine from the late 1700′s? That’s ridiculous!” And it WAS ridiculous, but it (sort of) worked.

Hoang was amazed by the turtle

A guy named Ezra Lee quickly learned how to operate this contraption and one night plopped it into the water, cranked the thing a pace underneath a Royal British Navy ship, launched his bomb, and skedaddled out of there. The bomb didn’t attach to the ship as planned, but it scared the bejesus out of the Limeys causing them to flee that “infernal machine.” This was in 1776 and the museum has a working replica of the original. Now, I’m not claustraphobic, I can swim, and I’m all for Revolution… but no WAY would I put myself in this position:

Ezra Lee… Unsung (Insane) Hero

Since the third floor was closed, we browsed the gift shop (almost bought a stuffed shad, but will leave the wasteful spending up to EdHill) and went outside. Sure, the weather was gloomy but there is something somehow romantic about a gray New England Fall day. I don’t know why, but I bet Robert Frost could explain it. I didn’t have time to reflect on it, because I had miles to go before I sleep, miles to go before I sleep.

Jonathan (Trumbull) Seagull

Hoang puts the muse in museum

The museum interchanged “canon” and “cannon” so frequently that I questioned if I was the one who was wrong. Alas, I am not.

On our drive back out through the town and northward towards home, we passed the below spot where the Oliver Cromwell was built. We also passed the Pratt House, another museum in town – but it was closed. Eh, that’s okay, our brains can only learn so much in one day.



Two months later we attempted to experience the outdoor Mystic Seaport. It was December and this is New England… so it didn’t work out. However, since we were down near there, we decided to check out the third floor train set-up at the Connecticut River Museum. So here is part two… Enjoy!

Back on Track in Essex
Museum Visit 2b

December 10, 2006

mq3s1.jpgAfter quickly deciding that wheeling a 10-month-old around the docks of the Mystic Seaport in near freezing wind gusts (though we did return several months later) would probably generate more than a few anonymous calls to the Department of Children and Families, we drove back north towards home. I had promised Hoang a “quaint lunch” in one of Connecticut’s quaint New England villages. And I can’t think of a quainter New England village than the Village of Essex, which was right along the way. And it also is home to the Connecticut River Museum.

Now why in the world would we revisit one of the 5 places I had already been to when we had over 490 others still to experience? You see, when we last visited the museum, the third floor was closed in order to set up the Holiday Model Train exhibit. Now that we just happened to be in town and I had just happened to have remembered my free passes, we would be enjoying some model trains. I love elaborate model train set ups and I figure it’s never too early to start Damian on a train kick.


We first attempted to have our quaint lunch at the famous Griswold Inn but learned that they were only offering Sunday buffet brunch which required a wait. Boy that crackling fire smelled good and it sure was quaint… But waits and buffets don’t match well with a baby boy. So… On to the trains! We walked on down to the river and the museum and reveled in the beautiful day. There was hardly any wind here, just a few miles inland, so Damian was fine taking in the sights of the historic town.

It felt really cool giving the woman at the front desk the free passes, which I did with a smug, “I am better than everyone else here” flair. We went straight upstairs to what promised to be a huge and intricate train set up. Or not.


What we found was a smallish room with a 25 foot by 6 foot train table, with about 4 trains traveling oval tracks and no topography at all. Note to Model Holiday Train designers: We fans need a mountain and a tunnel at the least! Before I studied the tracks, I wandered around the room; there was scant historical information but rather just a bunch of old prints and pictures for sale. (This is not indicative of the museum as a whole, which is quite enjoyable.)

I admit, I was (ignorantly, it turns out) disappointed in the trains so I found myself glossing over the whole set-up. Fortunately, Hoang was paying better attention and began noticing some of the finer details. Being a New Britain girl, she couldn’t contain her glee at seeing a little piece of her childhood:


After wiping the nostalgic tear from her cheek, she made her way to the other end of the table where she found a few tiny scenes hidden in the cityscape that more than justified the whole experience.

A woman in her underwear running in horror from the monkey-covered Monkey Farm Cafe, which is surrounded by cops with their guns drawn. You figure it out.

Meanwhile, behind the monkey-covered Monkey Farm Cafe, a weightlifter is about to be tased by a team of overly aggressive psychiatrists. Again, this has me puzzled.

A few blocks away, Old Lady Buttinsky has not only thrown the baby out with the bathwater, but she has hung him out to dry as well. Perhaps the cops should leave the monkeys alone and refocus their priorities.

Or, perhaps, living in an industrial town literally surrounded by at least 4 train lines and all their noxious exhaust has simply driven the town mad? [Note: I found some great info on the Monkey Farm Cafe, which is a real bar in nearby Old Saybrook, CT. More below] Oh, poor, besieged, tiny plastic townsfolk, I do hope you have happy holidays anyway. We bundled up Damian, asked some man where we could have our quaint lunch, scratched our heads at his 20-mile-away suggestion that he just would not relinquish, and walked back up towards the commercial center of town. We settled on the Black Seal restaurant and enjoyed our not-so-quaint but totally delicious lunch while Damian wooed the old ladies on both sides of us with his cooing and his dimples. That’s my boy.


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Cost: $7.00 Adults ($6.00 when you lie about your non-existent AAA membership)
Hours: Tuesday-Sunday 10-5 (10-4 Jan-Apr)
Food & Drink? A lovely 3 block walk to the Black Seal for some chowder
Children? 6 and up or so
You’ll like it if: You like war/maritime history
You won’t like it if: You’re a landlubber
Freebies: 2 Free passes and a bookmark (nothing the 2nd time though)


For the Curious

Museum Website
The History of Essex
Oliver Cromwell
The attack on the town
Essex+Shad+Fire: I’m so there
The great story of Ezra Lee and the Turtle
Who is this Jonathan Trumbull guy I mentioned?
Pretty cool model train video
Now THIS is a set up
Info on the real Monkey Farm Cafe (see bottom)
“Music” from the Monkey Farm
Where did “Baby with bathwater” saying come from?

6 responses to “2. Connecticut River Museum”

  1. vijay pinch says:

    Yours is a worthy quest. And you are clearly a genius. I especially loved the narrative about the train room. Hilarious!

  2. DragonLover#1 says:

    Do you know what capital city is on the connecticut river? i forgot my history book and i need to know the answer….as u can most likly guess i’m just a kid. please get back to me now!! it’s do tomorrow!!

  3. Steve says:


    If you are really a kid and you are really desperate to know what capital city lies on the Connecticut River and you are online surfing the Internet and came to THIS site to write THAT comment but didn’t bother looking further… If that’s all true, you’re going to make me cry.

    PS. Stop typing “u” for “you,” learn your homonyms (due/do), and make yourself a better person by finding out rather easy answers yourself.

    PPS. “DragonLover” is a terribly weak online moniker.

  4. a bristling son says:


    You missed it, Steve. His actual handle is DragonLover#1. I’m not sure if that designation means he is first and foremost a dragon lover, or if he thinks he is the number one dragon lover in all the land (in my head, that last option was said in a terrible English accent as if said by someone acting in one of those ridiculous medieval fairs).

  5. Essex Museum Fire says:

    [...] down for a period, but the museum was open to the public once again this past weekend.CTMQ: CT River MuseumCT River MuseumSoundbounder: Mary EWTNH: Fire Damages [...]

  6. Gwen says:

    Time for Museum Visit 3. For all of you who stumbled upon this review it is SEVERLY outdated! Go to their website and consider taking advantage of their many programs.

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